Double Take
by Mangics
Summary: Austin regrets never telling Dez how he really felt about him before he went off to college. Now at age 24, he has the chance to tell him, but will he be brave enough to do it, or will his fame ruin any chance of a relationship. homosexaul pairing, Slash
1. Chapter 1

Warning: Adult themes and situations, such as alcoholism. also Dez and Austin as more then friends. MalexMale relationship, slash.

Chapter 1

The hammer hit gently at the piano string, with every press of the key. The melody had a languid tempo, as if the player were falling asleep. However he wasn't, he sat up straight letting his fingers glide over the keys, his eyelids lowered but still following his own movement. The large room that held the piano was silent, except for the mournful notes escaping the instrument. The large TV that sat across form a leather couch and armchair was turned off, and even the ceiling fan wasn't disturbing the air.

Because of this silence and the low drone on the piano, the sound of the front door opening was almost deafening. It startled the piano player, and he missed one of the notes, but continued to play after looking up to see who had entered the penthouse.

"Hey Austin." Ally greeted warily; setting her bag down next to the coat rack they kept by the door. Her eyes immediately noticed the glass of wine sitting next to Austin on the piano bench. She frowned; that was all she needed to see to access her friends state of mind.

"He's probably filming on location and doesn't have access to a phone or computer." Ally reassured her silent friend. She made her way over to him and moved his glass before taking a seat.

Austin's fingers linger on the keys and soon the depressing tune he was playing turning into unpleasant tones. He removed his hands and reached down to wear ally had placed his wine, downing the rest of the glass in one gulp. "I can't do this anymore."

Ally's eyes widened in fear, she didn't know exactly what the statement meant, but it didn't sound good. She put her hand on Austin's knee and the blonde managed to give her a feeble smile. "What are you talking about?"

"I wanted to tell him, before he left to go study in New York. I told myself that he'd be too busy studying film to really be bothered with me. I didn't want to burden him, besides I had my own career to think about…" Austin shook his head and his smile became a little more genuine. "I mean our career to think about and of course my own musical studies. College always keeps you busy, and trying to hit it big takes up a lot of time too. So I said I'd wait. Then when he graduated, and Trish became my public relations agent, and our future was looking pretty bright, I told myself I'd tell him then. I didn't…then he was working on his first film. He was stressed out with the low budget, and I didn't want to stress him out even more, so I continued to keep my mouth shut. After that, I still didn't say anything, his movie was coming out, and we were going on tour. Before I knew it he was working on another movie... You know, he's my best friend, a part of me hoped maybe he would just notice, and I wouldn't have to say anything. After all he noticed that I was afraid of umbrellas without me telling him." Austin chuckled, but it was rather hallow.

Ally was completely lost, she didn't know what he was talking about, she just knew her friend wasn't happy, he hadn't been happy for a while. For the most part his was his usual bubbly self, but he had also started a habit of drinking. She's always worried about that, but told herself that Austin was too joyful of a person to hit rock bottom, like some singers. Fame was demanding, people watched you everyday of your life, and you hardly had any privacy. Ally almost felt guilty that it was Austin in the spot light rather than her, despite the fact that she wrote all his songs, and occasionally sung back up when they were recording songs.

Austin, Ally, Trish, and Dez, were all still good friends. Ally was still Austin's partner, and she almost felt like the singer was the brother she never had. They supported each other through their growing fame, and even lived together. Trish kept them inline and safe. Trish made sure that Austin didn't have to deal with all the publicity all the time. She updated his blog for him, and occasionally talked to tabloids, and arranged interviews. She was an incredible PR agent, and tried to keep Austin out of the spot light as much as possible ever since ally had told her about his drinking. Both girls wanted to keep his stress as low as possible, and Ally knew Austin appreciated that the two of them were still a constant in his life.

Dez on the other hand had moved away from Miami, from Florida all together, to go to a film and photography school in New York. He kept in touch with everyone. Ally would get funny e-mails from him, so would Trish. Austin would get the same and occasionally even a phone call, though those were far and few between. When Dez was still in college he'd occasional come down during spring break or holidays and they had all hung out together like old times. Even after Dez had graduated, he didn't have much free time, as he worked to build his own fame in the movie industry. Ally was completely aware that Austin wished his old friend had more time to spend with them, but between Dez's projects and Austin's singing career there really wasn't much time.

"What are you saying?" The songwriter asked with great concern, and put an arm around Austin trying to give him some comfort. She removed the glass of wine from his loose grip. She didn't know how many refills he's had so far, but he seemed pretty lucid despite his strange dialogue.

"I love him…I mean I really love him." Austin muttered, and leaned his head on Ally's shoulder. Ally's frowned deepened. She was aware that Austin wasn't attracted to women, and the blond hardly dated, he didn't even take groupies to his bed for one night stands. He'd excused his lack of relationships by saying that he was too busy, or didn't know if the person he would be dating wasn't just using him. Looking back she saw all those excused in a different light. Austin didn't want to date because he was already in love.

"I'm really happy you know." Austin continued to speak, and Ally only nodded in agreement, though she didn't believe the statement. "I'm happy that I met you, and that we're doing this together. I wouldn't trade it for the world, but then when the shows are over, and I'm done recording and you're out doing your own thing, I just think of him."

"So just tell him how you feel. Next time he calls, tell him."

"Over the phone?" Austin popped up and stared at Ally as if she'd grown a second head. "He'd think I'm drunk!"

"Are you?" Ally questioned cautiously, holding the wine glass in front of her friend.

Austin let out a small laugh and gave her a lopsided grin. "That was my first glass, don't worry. You want one?" He asks while getting up, and taking the glass from her.

"Um, sure, but I don't think telling Dez over the phone is such a bad idea."

"Since when did you become a relationship expert?" Austin called teasingly from the kitchen.

"Well, I've had more dates then you." Ally defended, happy to hear her friends playful tone. She was also grateful that Austin hadn't started on one of his drinking binges. She was never brave enough to tell him to stop after he'd already had a few glasses of wine. Austin was an absolutely depressing drunk. All the good qualities the singer had were turned upside down. While sober he was a happy, outgoing, and kind. While drunk, he was miserable, introverted, and would snap at anyone with the slightest provocation. He wasn't violent, that was just not in his personality, and because of that Ally let it slide when Austin did decide to drink too much. She always felt guilty afterwards. Just because the singer wasn't violent, or taking narcotics like some celebrities, didn't mean his behavior was any less destructive.

"You have, but a couple of dates with two guys really doesn't make you an expert." Austin walked out of the kitchen with two glasses of red wine, and sat on the couch, beckoning Ally over to join him. She took her glass and turned on her TV, before glancing over at her roommate.

"We're not talking about my love life. Besides two relationships are way better then what you do…I really wish you'd learn how to wipe the browser history."

Austin laughed hard, before touching his glass to his lips. "And I really wish you'd get your own computer. You have enough money."

"Yeah, but I just don't use it that often, so I don't see the point in forking out five hundred dollars for something I'm only going to use once a week."

"Well then you're going to have to learn not to type in anything that starts with a 'G' into the browser."

"But I need to use Google. It's ridiculous that it's not the first thing that pops up, don't you ever use search engines?"

"I use Bing, duh." Ally slapped him lightly on the shoulder for his smart comment. There was no real anger behind it, she was just happy that Austin was laughing and smiling, instead of playing sad piano music.

"So, are you going to tell Dez or what?"

There was a long pause, "When he gets back from shooting his movie. I mean I don't want to tell him over the phone, and it might just mess with his head. He's got artistic movie stuff he needs to concentrate on."

"Ok, but don't use that as another excuse to not tell him. You two are never going to stop being busy." If Austin had anything to say in response to her comment—and the pout on his face told her he did—it was instantly forgotten when the phone rang. The blonde practically dived for the phone and ended up in Ally's lap knocking her drink out of her hand. Austin hadn't even spilled a drop of his own wine, and held the phone to his ear.

"Hello?" he questioned calmly, completely contradicting his frantic need to get to the phone. The large grin that spread over his face, told the brunette that it was Dez on the other end. "I'm ok, had a photo shoot today for the next album cover. How're you?" The singer twists around in Ally's lap and takes a sip of his drink, looking completely comfortable. Ally playfully pushes him off, and he exaggerated a yelp as he went sprawling on the floor.

"Ally's being mean." He tells Dez. "Dez says to be nice or he's not going to give you the jar of German Pickles he bought for you." He warns while reaching for a tissue to clean up his spilled wine.

Ally decided to take both their glasses into the kitchen to get them out of the way before something caused them to break.

"So how much longer are you going to be in Europe shooting?"

"_Today was actually the last day, we're heading back to the states tomorrow morning."_

"Are you coming back to Miami?" Austin asks hopefully.

"_Duh, how else am I gonna give you guys your presents. I can direct the editing over the phone and with file sharing. It'll take a little longer, but I'd rather telecommute, than pull my hair out dealing with it in the studio."_

Austin smiled gratefully at the news, and his stomach fluttered. "Well you're welcome to come stay with Ally and me."

"_I'll take you up on that offer thanks. I got to go, sorry man, but it's passed midnight here, and I need to get up early."_

"No problem, see ya soon." The blond hung up and ran into the kitchen jumping on his unsuspecting music partner who was drying the wine glasses. "Dez is coming to stay with us for a while." He shouted excitedly.

"Great, then you can tell him how you feel." This caused Austin to deflate completely.

"I don't know…he still has work to do on the movie."

"Austin if you don't tell him, you're going to keep coming up with excuses!"

"It took you two years to properly tell Dallas you liked him!" Austin whined and crossed his arms over his chest.

"So it's been six years since Dez went to New York." Ally pointed out poking her friend in his chest. She wasn't about to let him wiggle his way out of this. Austin had pushed her into confessing to Dallas—though that relationship hadn't worked out after three years—now it was time to return the favor.

"Yeah, well I don't even know if Dez is…like that." Austin said vaguely as he made his way to the fridge.

"He's never told you about anyone he's dated?" Ally watched as Austin pulled out a pudding cup, with an apprehensive look on his face.

"No…what if by saying how I feel, it'll ruin our friendship? That's why I've never been brave enough to tell him. I don't want to lose him Ally. I'm glad I got to keep you and Trish, I don't want to break up our little group, just because I have a little crush."

"Austin, this isn't a little crush. A crush goes away after a while, especially if you don't have a lot of contact with that crush. Six years is a long time to hold on to a crush."

Austin's brown eyes weren't focused as he looked at the pudding in his hand. "Yeah…" He grabbed a spoon and started eating. "I'm going to go get the guest room ready for Dez."

* * *

.

* * *

"Wakey, Wakey, it's a bright new sunny day." A falsetto voice squeaked into Austin's ear. The blonde just hugged his pillow closer and let out a muffled sound.

"But there are fresh pancakes waiting for you in the kitchen." The high pitched voice continued, and something soft and fuzzy touched his cheek. This caught the sleepy singer's attention, and he decided to open one eye. He was met with the sight of a fuzzy brown bear wearing lederhosen and a matching alpine hat, using his fluffy paw to reach out toward him.

"What the—?" He sat up in bed rubbing at his eyes.

"Finally, Fritz and I have been waiting seven minutes for you to wake up." A familiar voice stated, as the bear was placed on the half awake man's lap.

"Dez!" Austin shouted and threw his arms around his friend's neck. "What are you doing here?"

"Uh, I told you yesterday I was coming."

Austin looked at bedside clock. "But it's only eight in the morning. When did you arrive?"

"I arrived at seven forty, Ally came to pick me up."

"Man I should have asked you when you would get here. I just thought you'd arrive in the afternoon, I forgot there was a time difference." He let go of his friend and took a closer look at the stuffed bear in his lap. "He's adorable, I should get—"

"A matching pair of lederhosen for yourself?" Dez questioned and showed his friend the pair of pants he had laid on the floor next to him.

"Oh my god you're the best."

"I got one for myself too. There like totally comfy."

"Did you give Ally her present?"

"Yup, she's already eating the pickles, though she didn't seem too excited about the accordion." Dez shoo his head in disappointment. "How am I supposed to dance polka in my lederhosen if she doesn't learn how to play?"

"If she doesn't learn it then I will. Did you get anything for Trish? I thought we could all have dinner later on today."

"I got Trish some German rock music, figured the angry sounding noises would lull her to sleep. Now get dress or the pancakes I made will get cold."

"I doubt that," Austin got scooted out of bed, and shooed Dez out. "Let me get dressed." Once the door closed behind his friend, Austin started to strip while making his way to his walk in closet. He wouldn't have been able to stop himself from smiling even if he wanted to. He was happy to see his friend again, and he was really looking forward to hanging out with him, and the old group. Not to mention Dez's pancakes were the best, and his mouth was water at the thought of tasting them again.

Once he was dressed he made his way out to the main part of his apartment. Before he could make it to the kitchen he was stopped.

"Austin, darling, glad you're up." The familiar voice of his manager greats him. He could already smell the sweet aroma of pancakes, and he really didn't want to have a briefing of his day right at that moment. However he let his manager guide him to the kitchen bar stool, while Ally placed a plate of pancakes in front of him. Dez was at the stove still flipping fresh pancakes. "So today we are going to start shooting for your next music video. Your new CD should be dropping in a month. Trish got a spot on Good morning America to perform 'Dream's reality'. So, I'm going to book your ticket today, I'm assuming Ally's coming along." The manager looked at Dez who was now turning off the stove and piling on the last pancake on a plate. "Anyone else you want to take along? Do you want me to contact your stylist to help you pick out the outfit you'll be wearing?"

Of course his schedule would be full now that Dez was back in the states. "What day am I performing?"

"We're leaving out tomorrow afternoon, and you'll be on GMA the following morning."

"So I'm going to be stuck shooting the music video all day?"

"We're planning on getting it shot today yeah. We want the video to come out before the CD drops. If we can't get it all shot today then we still have tomorrow morning."

Dez came to sit next to his friend with his own tower of pancakes. "Hey man I'm still going to be here when you come back. I'll have plenty to keep me busy with my movie. As long as I've got internet access and a my cell is charged, I won't get bored waiting for you."

"I can always stay here too." Ally offer with a smile.

"That's not the point, I really wanted to have dinner with everyone tonight, but I guess we can do that after I come back."

"Or, Trish and I can cook here, and when you come back we can just have cozy dinner out on the balcony." Ally suggested.

"I probably won't be back till late."

Dez shrugged. "If you're not back by nine then we'll just give you a rain check."

Austin shoved the rest of his pancakes into his mouth quickly. "Ok, the sooner we get started to sooner I'll be done." He announced while wiping his mouth vigorously of any excess syrup. Oh and, Isabella," he turns to his manger, "I think I do want Charley to pick out an outfit for GMA, maybe convince him to pack my suitcase with some good outfits while he's at it?"

His manger nodded, and took out her cell phone and dialed the number of his stylist. "Well the car is waiting downstairs, so let's go."

* * *

.

* * *

Ally looked at all the different pasta shapes as though about which would go best with a tomato and mussel sauce. A hand reached over her shoulder and grabbed a bag of bow-tie shaped noodles.

"Aw look at how cute these are. You should get these." Dez said cheerfully. It wasn't hard to see why Austin loved the redhead. He was still outspoken, and silly, but with age he also became a bit more serious, though that side of him only came out at appropriate times. If we was just relaxed and around friends he was the same quirky guy Ally remember from when they were fifteen.

"Ok, put them in the cart." They moved on to the next aisle to pick up fresh lettuce for the salad that would accompany their meal. She hoped that Austin would be able to have dinner with everyone; she wanted to see her friend happy, and he was always happy when Dez was around.

"So how has Austin been doing?" The question took Ally by surprise. She laughed nervously.

"W-what do you mean."

"Honestly, how is he doing? How's he holding up? He never goes to deep into his day whenever we talk, and I'm kinda worried he's keeping something from me." It was one of those rare times were Dez was completely serious, and the worry etched onto his face was almost heart breaking.

"He's alright…I think he just misses some of his old freedom. At first he would go out a lot, go shopping with me like this." She gestured between the two of them before throwing some more veggies into the cart and moving on. "He'd sign autographs when people recognized him, but the more well know he got the more the paparazzi was after him. At first he ignored them for the most part, and then he'd taken to wearing sunglasses and a hoodie to try and avoid them. It never seemed to work out well, and now I'm usually the one doing most of his shopping and stuff. He hardly leaves the apartment, and I think that upsets him. I think he wants to go out more, but a part of him just doesn't want to deal with all the stuff that comes along with it. He doesn't mind going out if it's with me and Trish, but then I think those outings make him miss you so he's not always the most cheerful."

"Well after his next CD he's going to take a break right?"

"Yeah we're going to take a little hiatus, and after that we're going to be touring. Austin love touring, mainly because he gets to leave the house." Ally laughs softly.

"I think that'll be good for him. I'm really sorry I haven't been around so much. It's just I get caught up with my own work."

"He doesn't hold it against you, just like you won't hold it against him if he can't make it tonight." Again Ally understood the admiration that Austin had for his best friend. He was caring and always thought about his friends. She could never say that Dez didn't try to make time for them as much as possible. It almost seemed like his life revolved around filming and them, she wondered if he had any time for anything else.

"So do you have anyone special you're going to meet with after the movie is all done. I mean you're going to need a date for the premier right?" Ally questioned hopping to get some information that she could use to convince Austin to tell the redhead how he really feels.

"Aw, Ally, if you wanted to come all you had to do was ask." Dez threw an arm around her and ruffled her hair. She smacked his hand away playfully, and giggled.

"That's not what I meant. I was asking if you're dating anyone."

"I wish, I don't have time to date anyone. How about you, have you gotten back on the horse, since Ben?"

Ally blushed at the reminder of her last boyfriend. "No, I don't think I'm ready yet."

"Yeah, you don't want to jump in to soon. What about Trish or Austin?"

"Trish doesn't seem interested in anyone, and neither is Austin. He says he doesn't have time or doens't trust most of them."

"I can understand that, I'm sure if he was dating someone I would have read about it in the tabloids."

Ally pushed their fully cart toward the cash register. "I think we got everything we need for a good dinner tonight."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: So ff dot net is still acting weird about the line breaks, so i'm just going to stop using them, and will put two dot to indicate a line break.

Chapter 2

It was eight thirty, and Dez had started setting the table outside on the balcony. Ally was cooking, and Trish had assigned herself to making the salad, occasionally sneaking a crouton into her mouth. Ally looked worriedly at the stove top clock, hoping that Austin would make it in at nine.

"That really smells good Ally." Trish told her as she put plastic wrap over the salad.

"Thanks." She gave her friend a weak smile.

"What's wrong? Has Austin been drinking again?" Trish questioned in a whisper, as if afraid to even mention it.

"Not anymore than usual, and I think having Dez around will even cause him to cut back. Of course in order for that to work, he'd have to have enough time to spend with him."

"Well don't look at me! I didn't know Dez was coming when I got him that interview and spot on GMA."

"I know, I guess…Austin just told me something, and I think maybe if everything works out he'll be a little happier."

Trish rested a comforting hand on Ally's shoulder. "He's happy, if he weren't then he wouldn't be working as hard as he does."

"But he hardly has any time for himself, or privacy and then he dri—"

"He knew what he was signing up for, he knew from the time he was fifteen. Yeah, it's stressful for him, and his outlet isn't the healthiest, but it could be worse."

"What could be worse?" Dez questioned cheerfully poking his head between the two girls and intruding on their conversation.

"Trish's salad!" Ally blurted out, which earned her a glare from her Latino friend.

The redhead looked at the salad. "Well she didn't put any tomatoes or cheese on it, but it doesn't look like it'll be too bad." He patted Trish's arm. "You did your best."

The curly haired brunette swatted his hand away. "I have you know that I make really delicious salads, just wait until you taste it!"

"Well I hope Austin gets to taste it," Dez said absentmindedly as he looked at the clock, which read eight forty-five.

"I'm sure he will, and then he'll confirm how delicious it is. I didn't work in fifty restaurants and not learn how to make a salad."

Ally turned off the stove, after one last stir of her sauce. The bow-tie pasta was already waiting, perfectly tender and drained. She mixed everything together in a serving bowl.

"Do we have dinner rolls?" Trish questioned.

"There still heating up in the oven, I put them in a little late." Ally said apologetically. Just then the sound of someone fumbling with the door handle echoed throughout the penthouse. Ally leaned over the kitchen bar to get a better view of the front door.

Once it finally opened, it did so slowly and the sound of footsteps were accompanied by the sound of creaking plastic.

"Did you guys start eating yet? It smells good." Austin's voice echoed from behind the door. Ally grinned and so did Trish. Dez stepped out of the kitchen to greet his friend.

"Whoa man, what happened to you?" The redhead took hurried steps toward his friend, who was leaning heavily on a pair of crutches.

"Oh, I just sprained my ankle, while doing the last dance routine for the music video." Austin said his voice clear and happy, no sign of pain.

"I think we should move the dinner into the living room, so Austin can put his ankle up." Ally announced as she went to fix plates to bring into the living room, and cut of the stove to take out a roll.

Trish stacked two pillows on the coffee table, as Dez helped Austin sit down. "Wow, I should sprain my ankle more often if I get this kind of treatment from you guys." He laughed.

"Will you be able to perform on Good Morning America?" Trish questioned, while watching Dez lift Austin's leg onto the pillows.

"Yeah, no problem, it's just a little sprain. I won't be able to do any dancing, hope that won't disappoint the fans."

"I think they can forgive you." Ally said and handed him a plate of food. "I made you guys some plates too, they're on the counter." Dez and Trish nodded and went to get their own food.

"Are you going to be ok?"

"Yeah Ally, it really isn't that bad. They just suggested I use crushes so I won't put too much weight on it, I just look worse than the situation warrants."

"Are you…are you going to tell Dez before you leave tomorrow?" She whispered.

Austin went completely still, and looked at his food with unfocused eyes. "What's the point? I can just tell him after I get back, it's not like I have anything else to do after GMA."

"Ok…" Ally didn't know if she believed her friend would confess after he got back, but it was true that Austin wouldn't be leaving the house once his performance was over. He'd have to rest his ankle, and besides that their break would be starting. She wondered how Dez's schedule was, how long the redhead planed on staying. Hopefully it would be long enough for Austin to speak to him, and for them to work everything out. It was good that Dez wasn't currently dating anyone, but she –much like Austin—didn't know if he preferred women, or men. She just prayed, for Austin's sake, that everything would work out. The blond deserved someone to love, and she knew Dez wouldn't take advantage of him.

Trish and Dez came out of the kitchen, plates in hand. Dez was carrying a wine bottle, and Trish was holding four glasses. She gave Ally an apologetic look, and the song writer understood. Dez had probably suggested the drink, and Trish hadn't wanted to make a big deal out of saying no. Ally trusted that Austin wouldn't over do it.

However when Austin had the wine glass in hand he visibly relaxed and smiled, as if all the stress of his day vanished at the sight of alcohol. Suddenly Ally wasn't as confident about Austin keeping his drinking under control.

"So did you at least finish shooting the music video?" Dez questioned as he took a bite of pasta. Trish poured Ally a glass of wine, and she sipped it tentatively while focusing on Austin.

"We finished all the dance scenes luckily, but we still have some close up shoots to do in the morning."

"They can't wait until after you come back to do that?" Ally asked a guilty feeling entering her as she once again thought about the amount of work Austin did compared to her own work load.

"It's just close ups of me signing, it won't be bad, and after all this I'll be able to finally relax for a couple of months." Austin leaned back into the couch and finished off his first glass of wine, before continuing to eat.

"So how long will you be in Miami, Dez?" Trish questions.

"I'm not sure yet. I mean for now I can do most of my work over the computer and on the phone. I guess as long as you guys can put up with me." Dez laughed deeply, and didn't notice how Austin's face lit up. "Or at least until the movie premier. Then I have to shove off to California, and head back to New York."

The blonde's face fell again, and he reached to fill his glass with some more wine. Ally and Trish's gazes met, concern shining in both their eyes. Luckily the rest of the night seemed uneventful, they talked and laughed together. Trish, Ally and Dez had another glass of wine, leaving nothing for Austin to have a third glass, and since his ankle was injured he didn't get up to obtain a new bottle. He knew better then to ask Ally to open another bottle, he was completely aware of his friends' disapproval of his drinking habit; though he himself thought they were overreacting a bit.

Dez's arm touched his upper back, and Austin jolted at the contact. He covered it up quickly with a wide grin and stated, "Man warn a guy, you scared me."

"Sorry, you were kinda dozing off there. You need some help getting to bed?" Austin could hear the girlsgetting up to clean the dishes in the kitchen sink, still laughing. He really had to try hard to keep his reaction normal, so Dez wouldn't notice his grittiness. He would love for Dez to take him to bed, though he would have preferred it under different circumstances.

To cover up his feelings Austin chuckled and shook his head. "It's just a sprained ankle I can still walk, and I have crutches to help me too."

"Ok guys, I'm heading back to my apartment." Trish announces as she comes out of the kitchen, Ally right behind her.

"Goodnight Trish!" The boys said in unison, and Ally walked her friend to the door. Austin grabbed his crutches and started to get up on his own, only to feel a supporting hand on his back. He didn't shake it off, he was rather happy to feel the warm hand on him. Once he was standing the hand disappeared.

"Goodnight." Austin almost whispered as he looked at Dez's friendly face, a flutter filled his stomach.

"I'll see you in the morning," The redhead responded and Austin hobbled off to his room, with thoughts of his friend joining him floating in his mind.

.

.

"Ally, hurry up! Austin's almost on!" Dez shouted from the living room. Ally hurried in with a French toaster stick hanging from her mouth. Dez was sitting cross legged on the couch with a bowl of lucky charms, bouncing slightly in excitement. Ally came to sit next to him and couldn't help but smile at her friend's behavior.

"You seem excited."

"This will be the first time I see a live broadcast of Austin. I usually end up missing all his interviews and music videos, though sometimes I look them up online. I don't have a lot of free time."

"Well it's good you try to keep up with Austin's stuff. He probably appreciates it a lot. I usually tag along with him, so this is the first time I'll be seeing it on TV too."

"Shhh!" Dez sputters messily with a mouth full of cereal as Austin is introduced. Ally makes a face at the drops of milk that almost landed on her face, but she doesn't take offense to the redhead's behavior. On the Television Austin was dressed in a black vest who's lapel was covered in sequence and a blue button up underneath with a loose purple tie. He had on long pants and purple sneakers which covered up his wrapped up ankle. He looked good, and moved well considering his injury. He didn't do his usual spins and side steps, however, he did try to sway with the music as he sang. He used his hand and mike to get the fans involved, and to make them sing along. Austin had gotten good at putting on a show ever since he started performing at the mall when they were younger.

Ally felt proud as she watched her friend and business partner perform without a sign of discomfort. He finished with a powerful note and a hand in the air as the lights shined on him, and the crowd cheered. As the crowd was settling down Robin Roberts made her way to Austin.

"_What a performance." _She said as she stopped in front of him.

"_Thank you."_

"_Now if I understand correctly, you're not at your best today."_

"_Not entirely, hurt my ankle, but the show goes on." _He said with a bright smile and again the fans cheered.

"_And you have a new CD coming out right?"_

"_Yes I do, I'm excited, and I hope everyone will enjoy it. My partner and I worked really hard on trying to provide some new and unique songs. I wanted to push myself a little, and try and achieve a wider range of music, so we have a little bit of everything, but mostly my signature sound."_

"_Well, I'm sure everyone can't wait to hear it. You've come a long way from when you first began haven't you?"_

"_Yeah I really have, and I wouldn't have been able to do it without my fans, friends and family. I'm really grateful for all my success. This new CD really reflects my growth, and how I want to keep moving, and keep giving back to my fans, and hopefully gain some new ones along the way."_

"_Well, I'm sure anyone who heard this performance is on board. Do you mind if we get some questions from the fans already here?"_

"_No not at all." _Robin stepped toward the crowd of people holding colorful signs and picked out a girl who had her hand up and was shouting. The girl squealed in excited before asking her question.

"_I'm a big fan, and I follow your blog, but I never hear anything about your romantic life. Do you have someone special that you're seeing?"_

Austin looked at the ground for a slit second before giving the girl a winning smile_. "No not at the moment, but I do have my eye on someone." _The crowd responded to that with giggles and squeals. Robin went on to pick one more fan.

"_Austin, do you have any advice to someone who want to become a singer?"_

"_Sure, just follow your heart, and let your voice be heard. You don't have to start big, just make sure people can hear you and someone will notice."_

"_Well that's all the time we have for now—"_

"Oh man, Austin did great, and he really handled the interview well." Dez announced.

Ally nodded. "I'm just glad that after this he can rest, and focus on getting his ankle better." She was hoping that the rest would do him good in other department, such as talking to Dez and weaning off the alcohol.

"Does that happen often?" Dez's face changed quickly from happy to concerned. "You know hurting himself while working. Don't you think they push him a little too hard?"

Ally actually agreed, but she also knew that show business worked this way. "Most singers have a full schedule, and injury really doesn't stop them, unless it's something serious. He usually doesn't get hurt, though he's recorded with a hang—a head ache before." Ally corrected herself and hoped Dez hadn't caught her mistake.

Blue eyes studied her face, and Ally started to feel uncomfortable. Despite the fact that Dez acted clueless and silly most of the time, he was rather perceptive. Like Austin had stated before, he knew all the blonde's secrets even if he hadn't been told. "Is he taking care of himself?"

"Yeah of course, if he's really sick he won't record." Ally looked nervously at her fingers, before reaching for the remote. "Let's see what else is on."

Dez looked like he wanted to press the issue but his phone rang. "Hello? Oh, hi, you sent me the first scene? No I haven't checked my e-mail." His voice trailed away as he walked out of the room, and toward the small office Ally and Austin had in their house which held the computer.

Ally relaxed, but berated herself for acting so odd and worrying Dez. He was sure to catch on that something was wrong with Austin. The biggest fear she had was that Dez would witness Austin in one of his drunken moods. Somehow she wanted to shield him from that, she felt like Austin was her responsibility when he was like that. Though, occasionally, she had called on Trish for support. She just prayed that Austin could be cured by telling Dez how he truly felt. She prayed that some of her friends stress would melt away if he were in a happy relationship, but a part of her knew that alcohol dependency wasn't so easily cured. Especially since Austin had so many other stressors in his life.

.

.

There was a limo waiting for Austin outside the airport. His manger hustled him in while talking on the phone. Austin was grateful to be sitting and put his leg up on the seat to rest his ankle. He removed his glasses and hat and relaxed against the tinted window.

"Welcome back mister Moon." His driver greeted.

Thanks Jerry, glad to be heading home." The driver pulled away and started to drive the familiar route to Austin and Ally's penthouse. His manager was still talking on the phone to another one of her clients, and continued to do so until they reached Austin's apartment building.

She hung up. "Well you did a great job on GMA. I'll tell you once we've edited the music video and are going to air it. Other than that, enjoy your hiatus." She smiled genuinely at him, before telling the driver to take her home, and pulling out her cell again.

Austin limped toward the elevator and punched in the code for his penthouse, happy to start his break.

"Hey Austin! Oh, are you ok on your feet?" Ally greeted and quickly made her way over to him just in case he needed some support.

"It hurts a little, but I should start putting some weight on it. It's not so bad, by the end of this week I'm sure I'll be walking normally." Despite his statement he did grab hold of Ally's arm and let her walk him toward the couch. "Where's Dez?"

"Oh he's working in the office, checking e-mails and such." Ally turned on the TV and put it on Disney channel, since Austin enjoyed watching it. The blonde put a pillow on the coffee table and lifted his leg onto it.

Ally stayed quiet for a while and let Austin settle down. "So how was the trip?"

"It was alright, kind of boarding without you there to talk to while I'm in my dressing room, or on the plane."

"Aww," Ally lightly pushed her friends shoulder.

"Did you watch it this morning?"

"Of course, Dez wouldn't have let me miss it. You did great."

"Did he like it?"

"Yeah he was really excited, but concerned about your ankle."

"Wow, he might be more of a worry wart then you." Austin teased.

"I'm not a worry wart, I just want what's best for you." Ally rested her head against Austin's shoulder. "So now that you're back—"

"I'll talk to him ok. Tomorrow, I'll talk to him tomorrow." Austin sounded agitated and Ally felt bad for bringing it up.

"I just think it'll help you to get this off your chest." She whispered.

"I know Ally, I'm sorry for snapping at you, but you should know how scary it is to tell someone that you…that you…"

"I know." Ally nodded. "But Dez wont' turn away from you even if he doesn't feel the same way. He's too good of a friend, he cares about you a lot you know." Austin nodded, and looked at his hands, before taking a deep breath.

"It's been a long day, I think I'm going to head in early. Night Ally." The brunette watched her friend get up unsteadily and make his way around the corner to his bedroom. Maybe she should have waited to mention Dez. Austin was truly afraid of telling him. Though Ally was positive nothing bad would happen, she couldn't convince Austin of it. She wanted her friend to be happy, she wanted him to be happy with Dez. Despite the fact that for all she knew Dez wasn't gay, or Bi, she just wanted this for her friend so badly. She wanted something, anything to bring a little light into Austin's life. So he wouldn't lock himself up, away from the world. Maybe even if Dez rejected him, it will give Austin the chance to move on and find someone he can trust and fall in love with.

Though Ally was the one with stage fright, it was Austin who was missing out on living a happy and fulfilled life. She wanted that to change, if she were strong enough to take some of the burned of her musical partner she would, but she was too afraid. Just like Austin was afraid of losing Dez, of losing his best friend simply because he loved him.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Ally was a little nervous as she walked out onto the terrace. It had been five days since Austin came back from his GMA gig. Five days were Austin avoided being alone with Dez, and continued to keep his feeling to himself. He had even gone grocery shopping with Ally so he wouldn't be alone with Dez. Thought the trip had only dampened his mood, since the paparazzi had decided Austin Moon going shopping was big news. He hadn't minded the few fans that recognized him, but even that became tiring when he also had to deal with flashing cameras.

She stood next to Austin who was leaning heavily on the railing. His ankle had become better, and he was able to walk with only a slight limp.

"Austin I was thinking, you and Dez—"

"I'll tell him, I will, I'm just not ready yet." Austin defended himself quickly with a lopsided smile. Ally gave a smile of her own to disarm him.

"I wasn't going to say that. I was thinking maybe you two would have a guy's night out. I mean, I'm sure Dez would love it."

"What? Like I date, I don't know Ally…"

"It's not a date, you don't have to tell him anything, just hang out together." Though secretly Ally hoped that having Dez alone would give Austin the courage to confess his feelings.

"Well…we haven't had time to ourselves for years. I kinda miss the crazy stuff Dez would get me into when we were younger." Austin laughed to himself.

"I know a club that's kinda exclusive so you won't be bothered so much." Ally said hopefully.

"Mmmm, well I guess it wouldn't hurt. I don't think I can do much dancing though." Austin said tapping his foot.

"Yeah, but you could sit in the VIP section, enjoy the music, maybe get some food." Ally made a point not to mention drinks.

"Ok, I'll ask Dez see if he wants to go. What are you going to do while we're gone?"

"I don't know, maybe I'll invite Trish over and we can have a girls night."

"That'd be nice, you know this is really a great idea." Austin announced with a big smile, and pushed off the railing and started to walk to the screen door. "I'll talk to Dez, pick out something to wear if he's up to it, and we'll leave around seven."

"That gives me enough time to call Trish and see what she's up to tonight."

.

.

Ally couldn't get comfortable and she really wasn't paying attention to the movie that Trish put in. She was worried about how Austin's night was going. She prayed that he wouldn't have too much to drink. Though Austin hadn't had more than two glasses of wine ever since Dez showed up. He seemed to keep himself under control as long as the redhead was around. This only made Ally want to push the two together more. Austin would be so much happier, and so much healthier if he and Dez were dating, she just knew it. She held on to that belief and continued to hope that Austin would confess tonight, and that everything would go smoothly.

"Calm down Ally, I'm sure Dez can handle Austin. Now relax and watch the movie."

"He probably can, I'm just over reacting." Ally told herself and took a deep breath. She tried to pay attention to the movie, but then the sound of the front door made her jump. "There back early, oh no!"

"Stop freaking out, you don't know why they're back." Trish whispered as the boys entered the apartment.

"I can't believe Shiny money was there." Austin laughed.

"I can't believe I didn't catch him again. Drunk dancing, so not a good idea." Ally stiffened when she heard Dez say that. She ran her eyes over Austin who seemed sober enough.

"I told you not to leave me, those girls you left me with totally pinch my butt!"

"They just wanted your autograph, man." Dez waved at Ally as they came to sit down on the couch with the girls.

"They wanted me to sign their breasts! Ally don't make me go out with Dez ever again. He totally abandoned me and left me in the hands of a bunch of pervy fan girls."

"When Shiny Money wants you as a dance partner to put a gang of rookies in their place you don't turn the man down!"

"He shouldn't of picked someone else. Dez didn't catch him when he did a spin jump from the dance cage."

"He's like fifty pounds heavier than me, he would of squished me, and if he weren't so drunk he would have realized that."

"Sounds like you two had fun." Trish chimed in giving Ally an 'I told you so' look. "I've got to go home, the movies almost over anyway."

"Aww, Trish, you don't have to leave cause of us!" Dez pouted.

"I can only take so much of you especially this late at night. Besides I can smell the beer on your breath. I so don't want to deal with you drunk, you're crazy enough sober."

Dez laughed, "I like only had two beers! Austin's the one who had two glasses of wine and three shots."

"The shots weren't my idea." The blond looked at Ally knowing she would disapprove. "Thos girls wouldn't leave me alone, and then they bought me some drinks, and it would have been rude to say now. Especially after I said I wouldn't sign their boobs."

It was worrying to know that Austin had drunk so much, but even more worrying that his alcohol tolerance was now so high that he didn't seem fazed by the amount he drank. Ally decided to distract herself by walking Trish to the elevator.

"Try not to give Austin such a hard time, ok? He seemed to have fun, and when was the last time he had that much fun?" Ally nodded, and gave her best friend a hug goodbye. When she re-entered the apartment she found Austin in the kitchen alone.

"Where's Dez?"

"He had some emergency call from the producer, apparently the budget is running out but the editing still isn't done." Austin poured himself a glass of wine absentmindedly.

"Don't you think you've had enough." Austin looked at the glass and gave his friend a wary smile.

"I guess you're right." He set down the glass reluctantly.

"So you had fun?" Ally questioned. Austin usually only continued to drink if he was upset.

"It was nice, but the club was crowded, and those girls were really demanding." Austin shrugged. "But the beginning of the night was really nice. I hadn't laughed that much in a long time. I couldn't believe Shiny money remembered Dez, it was hilarious. We had a really cool conversation with him, before, you know, the dancing thing."

"That's good….so did you—"

"No Ally I didn't, ok? I didn't want to ruin the night so I just kept my mouth shut."

"Austin, when are you going to tell him? Do you want to keep wondering 'what if' for the rest of your life?"

"No I don't, but I don't want to lose what we have either. Tonight was so much fun. I hadn't had that kind of time to spend with Dez in years, I don't want to lose that!"

"But if you tell him there's a chance that you can spend time with him every night and every day."

"A chance, Ally. Just a chance."

"So give him a chance, Austin, give him a chance to say 'yes'."

"That's easy for you to say! You don't understand Ally, I can lose in so many ways. I can lose Dez's friendship, and can gain him as a boyfriend only to lose him because the tabloids won't leave us alone. There is so much that can ruin this and tear us apart, so excuse me if I'm afraid of telling him. Excuse me if I just like the way my life is now."

"But you don't! If you did you wouldn't be drinking!" Ally covered her mouth the moment those words left her mouth. "Oh god…Austin I didn't mean to yell I just—"

"I know…I know you think I'm just a drunk, but you don't know about that either do you? You just sit in your room and write songs, and don't have to deal with the fame. You just sit behind the scenes and enjoy the benefits."

Guilt sank into Ally's gut, because she knew what Austin was saying was true. Even if her friend had never said such a thing before, even if he had always had a smile on his face and supported her and didn't push her because of her stage fright. She knew it was true that her career was at the expense of Austin's privacy and quality of life.

"I'm sorry…." She muttered and left. She closed the door to her room behind her and collapsed on her bed. Austin had never said anything like that before, even during his previous drunken episodes. What was worse was that she knew Austin wasn't really drunk yet. That Austin was still sober enough to understand what he was saying, and to really mean it.

.

.

He really didn't know how he ended up leaning heavily on Dez's shoulders muttering, "I love you," over and over again. To which his friend only responded, "I know, man, now let's get you to bed."

Austin looked up to take in his surroundings, to try and remember how he ended up in Dez's arms. However when he looked around all he saw was the piano and Ally's worried face as she cleared and empty wine bottle off the piano bench.

"Ally can tell you. Right Ally, I love him." His drunken mind seemed less concerned now about how he ended up in this position, and more concerned about convincing Dez his feeling were real. However Ally didn't back him up only continued to clean, and he wondered if she had heard him at all. Dez helped him turn the concern into the hall way that lead to all the bedrooms in the apartment. Austin's was on the very end, and it seemed so far away and Austin didn't feel like he was walking straight even with Dez's help. The hall seemed to twist and turn and appeared a mile long. The blond closed his eyes and leaned his head on his best friend shoulder again muttering his confession of love softly.

Austin only opened his eyes when he felt the soft fabric of his bed beneath him. He wrapped his arms around Dez before he could pull away. "I love you." He repeated, and pulled his friend down onto the bed with him.

"Austin!" the redhead protested, and rolled to the edge of the bed. "Just sleep it off ok?" But the blonde wasn't concerned about sleeping it off, and any earlier thoughts as to how he ended up so drunk in the first place were forgotten. He grabbed his friend's hand and weakly tugged.

"Don't." He muttered and pulled Dez closer to his bed.

"You're drunk, Austin."

The blonde felt deeply insulted. "I'm not, I'm fine." He said, though anyone could plainly see he wasn't. It was then that Ally entered the room. With practice efficiency she took of Austin's shoes and sock, before removing the covers from under him and tucking him in. Austin tried to protest, but he could hardly keep his eyes open. His grip on Dez's hand slackened.

"This isn't the first time is it?" Austin could hear Dez's voice question Ally.

"No…" His songwriter answered with great embarrassment in her voice. The sound of footsteps echoed in his ears as his thoughts began to fuzz and sleep took him over.

.

.

Ally just wanted to go hide in her room. She never felt this guilty before when Austin was in one of his moods. However this time she really felt like she had pushed Austin into drinking. It had only taken fifteen minutes for Austin to drink an entire bottle of wine and start playing a melancholy tune on the piano. Of course the song only sounded more depressing because the blonde's drunken fingers didn't have the skill to play properly.

So now she felt great shame as she hovered in front of her bedroom door waiting for Dez to ask more questions.

"Goodnight Ally." The statement shocked her and she turned to look at her friend with confusion. All that met her was a smile. It wasn't Dez's usual radiant smile, but it was enough to disarm the tension.

"Goodnight." Ally returned warily and took one last look at the redhead before entering her bedroom. She changed into he pajamas, and her mind was racing with worry and regret. She shouldn't have pushed Austin into confessing before he was ready; she shouldn't have kept bringing it up. Most of all she shouldn't have gotten into a fight with him, and left him alone. She should have realized how much Austin's feelings scared him, how out of control he thought the situation would become if he ever opened his mouth. Now the situation had lost control, and it was all her fault. Now Austin had confessed, and she doubted that Dez had even given it a second thought.

This was a complete disaster and tomorrow they would have to pick up the pieces.

.

.

Austin hadn't slept long. The Alcohol in his body made him sleepy but did nothing to stop his active mind. With incoherent thoughts continuing to invade his half sleeping mind he soon gave up on getting any rest. He got out of bed and shielded his eyes has he turned on the lap sitting on his night stand. The flash of light reminded him of a camera and an alcohol induced depression swept over him. He really loved performing and singing, it was his dream come true, but it came with such a heavy price. The more famous his music became the more famous he as a person became. People wanted to know everything about him, and though he could put up with the occasional nosy fan, he really wasn't prepared for the tabloids. They snapped picture and spread lies. They were obsessed with his love life, and the only thing he ever dared to look up online was porn. He didn't even check his own e-mail, having Trish do that for him. After receiving hate mail about tainting the lives of daughter and little girls with his songs he had stopped checking his mail all together. After stumbling upon to many article of speculation about him he had stopped browsing the internet. The worst part of all was that he felt utterly alone in his fight against tabloids and paparazzi. He'd become wary of going out, and just enjoying the everyday activities most people took for granted. He was stuck in his penthouse for the most part, and he felt like a caged bird alone with no mate to sing along side him.

He envied Ally. She was still able to do so many things and go out in public without being bombarded by cameras or questions. He would never hate her for it, after all he knew what he was getting himself into when he'd asked Ally to become his partner and make him famous. Just living the reality of his dream had put a lot of stress on him.

Many singers turned to drugs in order to cope with the demand of putting out new songs and new music videos. Smoked weed in order to get peeped up and perform yet another concert. So really drinking a couple of glasses of wine wasn't so bad, his habit wasn't so bad. Still it didn't help with the loneliness he felt when he was stuck in the apartment and Ally was out doing her own thing. It didn't help him cope with the work load, but really only slowed him down when his voice was raspy and the lights of the recording room were too bright and aggravating his hangover.

But he was in too deep now, and he didn't know how to stop. As he continued to think about his life his mouth became dry and the only thought was to get something to drink. He stumbled from his bed and made his way to the kitchen with a hand against the wall for support. He was surprised to see the lights on in the living room, but didn't bother to figure out why as he continued toward the kitchen. He passed by the couch unsteadily and forgot why he was going to the kitchen in the first place when a voice caught his attention.

"Austin what are you doing out of bed. Are you feeling alright?" It was Dez. The redhead was sitting on the couch and Austin blinked to get a better look at his friend. Forgetting about his dry throat the blond plunged onto the couch next to his friend. He leaned in close and rested his head on Dez's shoulder.

"'m fine, couldn' sleep." He slurred.

"You should go back to bed, you really shouldn't be up." Dez's voice was so stern, it was so unlike him. Austin didn't like his tone, so he looked up at his friend with a pouted lip.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" the redhead asked softly his eyebrows coming together in a show of concern.

"I love you." Was Austin's only response and he threw an arm over his friend's chest.

"I love you too man, that's why—"

"Really?" Austin interrupted his friend hand lets his hand trail toward his lap. "You love me?" he nuzzled against Dez's neck. The redhead tried to push him off, but there was no real strength behind the action.

"Austin you're still drunk." The blond planted a soft kiss against his friend's neck, and scooted in even closer. This time Dez pushed him in earnest and Austin found himself on the other side of the couch. "Stop you don't know what you're doing."

Austin blinked and looked at his friend questioningly. Dez really didn't seem to be himself. He wasn't even looking at him. He got up and again without making eye contact spoke to the blonde.

"You should get back to bed." Austin hurried after his friend, swaying a little on his feet. Dez was making his way to the guest room.

"Come with me." Austin pleaded. "Stay with me, I lo—"

"I know, I know." Dez was absolutely frustrated. Though Austin didn't seem to notice, he simply grabbed his friend hand and moved closer. "Austin let go."

The words weren't headed; instead the blonde moved in closer and closed his eyes before clumsily touching his lips to Dez's. If the singer were in his right mind he would never have been so bold, but as it was, alcohol not only gave him the courage to confess his love but act on it as well. If he had been a little more sober he might have been surprised when Dez's lips pressed firmly against his own deepening the kiss.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Austin found himself on his back against soft blankets, along with a first full of red hair and lips pushing desperately against him. His slightly sloshed mind only partially recognized that the person above him was Dez, and that this was a fantasy come true. Actually he wasn't completely convinced it was really happening.

"God I shouldn't be doing this," Dez whispered breathlessly as he ran his hands down Austin's side. Austin simply rubbed his nose against Dez's neck, and continued to run his fingers through red locks. Their lips met, this time more gently with love behind the motion. Dez cupped Austin's cheek as he coaxed his tongue between parted lips.

"Are you even going to remember this in the morning?" Dez questioned gently between kisses. Austin could only nod, his mind still fuzzy but getting sober with every kiss. "I really do love you, and I know you feel the same." Austin's mind absorbed the conversation but he did not react, he simply continued to softly kiss his friend. Dez paused and had a big smile on his face.

"I always know everything about you. For a while I wanted to tell you I knew. I thought you might pick up on my hints…I wanted you to come to me. With your career and everything…I wanted you to come to me and tell me you'd put up with all the shit we'd have to go through. That I was worth risking your career for, because the last thing I want to do is ruin your dream."

Austin looked deeply into blue eyes as his mind processed the emotional statement. It took him a little longer then it would where he not under the lingering influence of alcohol. Once he understood that statement completely he had no control over the small amount of tears pooling at the corner of his eyes.

"You're worth it." He crocked. His voice came out raspy and he seemed surprised to hear it. He cleared his throat and looked at Dez, trying to shake the last remaining affects of the alcohol. It was useless, but he was sober enough to answer truthfully. "You're worth my career."

Austin was engulfed in a strong suffocating hug, only to be drowned in butterfly kisses a few minutes later.

The kisses soon turned more serious as tongues twined around each other lovingly. Both men cupped each other's faces as they continued to kiss, slight gasps and moans escaping occasionally when they paused to catch air. Austin threw his head back on the pillow and Dez took advantage by attacking his neck with love bites. Hands started to travel lower, and loving caresses turned into lustful groping.

"We should wait until your sober," Dez said reluctantly as he stopped Austin from reaching for his groin.

"I'm sober enough, my reaction time is a bit slow, but I know what I'm doing." The blond protested before batting his eyelashes and looking at Dez seductively. "Please?

The redhead bit his lip, and looked away as if this would somehow help him keep his self control. In order to break that control Austin rolled his hips upwards. Dez bit his lips harder but that didn't stifle his moan.

"Please?" Austin repeated again as he continued rolling his hips.

"Ok, ok!" Dez gave in and met the movement of Austin's hips with his own gentle thrust. Soon the redhead's hands were moving to tug at the waist of Austin's jeans. They stopped drying humping long enough to remove the barrier of clothing between them, only to push against bare skin breathlessly once it was removed.

"Oh god," Austin moaned and pulled Dez closer to him until their chest met, and their naked bodies were flush against each other. It was a very sobering sensation and Austin couldn't imagine ever getting enough of that feeling.

Dez kissed him again gently and rocked a little, before maneuvering Austin to bend his knees and spread them apart. "Do you have lube or lotion or something?"

"In the first drew of the nightstand." It was the most coherent thing he had said all night, and the fuzzy headedness of being drunk was soon being replaced with the fuzziness of love and longing.

Dez wasted no time in slicking up his finger in anticipation of preparing Austin. Then it dawned on him that his friend might not want this position as much as he did. "Do you mind if I top?"

"No, go ahead I want it."

Having gotten permission to proceed Dez prepares Austin gentle with one finger at first. Austin's eyes closed as Dez wiggled in another finger slowly spreading him. It hurt and was very uncomfortable, but Austin was use to it, he had to go through the same process when he was pleasuring himself. He knew it would get good after the initial discomfort, and he was not disappointed once Dez pulled his fingers out and replaced it with a much larger appendage.

"Fuck," Austin whispered as he screwed his eyes shut. His redheaded love stopped immediately and looked at him with worry.

"You ok?" Austin could only manage a slow nod, as his nails dug into white sheets. A hand came to pet his face and Austin opened his eyes half way. "You sure?"

"Yeah, keep going." He muttered and pushed his hips down trying to impale himself. Dez took the hint and continues. Austin let out a loud sigh of relief once his lover was fully in. The blonde already looked like a sexed up wreck and they hadn't even gotten to the good part. Of course the mused up state that Austin's hair was in and the heavy breathing only served to turn Dez on even more, so he could hardly restrain himself and soon enough his hips stuttered forward in a timid shallow thrust. This seemed to be agreeable as Austin started to relax and wrap his legs around his partner. Soon the pace was picked up and the two men were lost in the sensation.

Austin's voice chanted, "Oh fuck, oh fuck," almost as if it was his new biggest hit. Dez found that to be not only cute but very funny, so he chuckled. This caught Austin's attention.

"What part of having sex with me is funny?" He asked breathlessly between moans, and with a half hearted glare on his face.

"Nothing, just, you're cute when you curse." The blond hardly used profanity, and the answer Dez gave made him blush.

"Shut up," He muttered. The statement was soon followed by a loud, "Oh fuck", when the Dez deepened and quickened his pace. Austin ran his hands through red hair before pulling down his best friend for a deep kiss. Between lips meeting the chanting continued, and Austin was completely lost in the sensation of Dez continually stimulating his prostate.

Once the chanting turn into rather musical sounding moans, Dez took it as a sign that Austin was close to climax. So he wrapped his hand around Austin and started to pump his fist along with his thrusts. This made the blond go crazy and his mouth hung open in a soundless scream. It didn't take much to bring him over the edge. Dez again found himself thinking that Austin was cute, as he finished up himself.

.

.

Austin awoke with a groan as he shielded his eyes from the sun shiny into the room. The blinds had been pulled up all the way and the sun was not only blinding but added to his headache. He rolled over and pulled the covers over his head as an extra shield. He squinted at the bedside table and saw a letter, glass of water and two pills waiting for him. He took the pills fist and then read the letter;

"_It's a nice sunny day! Hope you enjoyed it as you woke up, next time don't drink so much. I'm in your office having a meeting with the lead editor and producer of the movie, we'll talk once I'm done._

_XOXO, Dez"_

Austin smiled and gave the piece of paper a kiss. The letter jogged his memory of last night, and the promise he had made to Dez, and what that promised had lead to. The redhead probably expected him not to recall but how could he forget a night like that? He stretched and made his way to his own room to get ready for the day and endure his hangover.

Once dressed he went into the living room were Ally was sheepishly eating her breakfast. Austin's smile fell as more memories from the night before entered his brain. He felt bad about what he said to Ally. She didn't deserve to be yelled at, and even though she wasn't in the lime light didn't mean she didn't work hard. Most of all she was always there to support Austin, and for that the blonde was grateful.

"Ally," He walked up to her with a lopsided smile. Ally seemed surprised to be addressed by him. "I'm sorry, I had no right to say what I did. You were just looking out for me, you've always been looking out for me. I know I have a problem…I just don't know how to live without it."

Ally's eyes shimmered with tears. "I didn't mean to yell, but I just worry. I want you to be happy, and I just don't think you are happy when you drink."

"I'm not, but I didn't want to admit it to myself. I just feel less anxious when I drink, everything is so much easier, and I don't want to let go of that, because when I don't drink everything is so chaotic."

"But you can do it without the alcohol Austin, You use to, and you can again. Let's get you some help, to get back to normal."

"I want to but…I don't know if I can." Austin shook his head and put his hand up, he didn't want to talk about this anymore. "I told Dez" He said in order to change the subject.

"Told Dez what?"

"How I feel."

"Oh my god…what happened, what did he say?"

"He's liked me the whole time, he was just afraid that our relationship would ruin my career. What with my fan base being mainly teenage girls that have crushes on me. Kinda bursts their bubble doesn't it?" Austin joked to hide the fact that even though Dez was worth ruining his career, he was still afraid of what would happen.

"Oh Austin, you're whole life is turning around, this is great. Forget about the fans, follow your heart, you deserve it!" Ally hugged him and truly felt happy for her friend. She could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Dez would surely be on her side about getting Austin help with his drinking problem. Austin would have a goal to work for and a support system to lean on during his up in coming struggle with sobriety.

"I'm still a little worried. Think of the amount of work Trish will have to do to get my public image back."

Ally shook her head and laughed, "Don't worry about it. I'm supposed to be the worry wart, you're just supposed to be the free spirit!"

.

.

Austin felt great after talking to Ally, and his friend was happier too. She had to go out and do some shopping she had invited Austin to come along but he turned her down, he still had Dez to talk to. The redhead was still in the office, so Austin assumed he was still busy with his movie. He was growing anxious though, he really wanted to talk to him. He wanted to make sure that they were on the same page and that they could move forward with a serious relationship.

A part of him wondered how they would even pull off having a relationship. They were both so busy and hardly in the same spot for long. Austin always came back to Miami after a tour, but Dez mainly stayed in New York when he wasn't working on set.

"Austin, how are you feeling?" Dez asked loudly as he entered the room.

"Ally gave me something for my hangover so I'm better." He smile and patted the spot next to him on the couch for Dez to sit down.

"So you remember?"

"Yeah I do." Austin leaned over to rest his head on Dez's shoulder.

"I want you to stop." Austin pulled back quickly and gave Dez a hurt look. "Stop drinking, I want you to stop drinking!" Dez clarified.

"Yeah I know…it's gonna take a while. I'll try I just….I can't promise I'll kick the habit right away."

"It's not a habit, it's a problem. Remember first step is admitting you have a problem." Dez said while pinching Austin's nose.

"Yeah, just give me some time. Can I just enjoy now without having to worry about what I have to do later." He asked and wrapped his arms around Dez, pulling him in for a hug.

"I guess, but I haven't had breakfast yet." Dez's stomach growled in agreement, and Austin laughed.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Dez started to carry a water bottle around, he was convinced that being an alcoholic was much like being a bad dog. So he had taken to squirting Austin in the face until he put down his wine glass. Or squirting cold water in his face and honking a horn to aggravate his hang over, if Austin was able to sneak in a couple of drinks. Ally surprisingly didn't defend Austin from the attacks, agreeing that it will reprogram Austin's mind to associate alcohol as bad.

Ally had developed a habit of her own. She would constantly pop out of nowhere and show Austin a brochures for an addiction recovery center. Austin really didn't want to go to one, because he knew it would end up all over the tabloids if he did.

Austin sighed as he relaxed into his couch, strongly fighting the urge to get up and have a glass of wine. He knew his friends only meant well, but they really weren't helping. This was hard.

"How are you doing Austin?" It was a slight relief to hear Trish's voice.

"Oh Trish, hey, please tell me you have good news."

Trish gave him a smile. "Well if you think no news is good news then yes. I just came to see how you're doing. That and Ally wanted me to babysit while her and Dez go run some errands."

"I haven't had a drink in a week, don't they trust me just a little?"

"Nope." Trish said with a giggle and sat down next to him. "So you enjoying your free time?"

"I'm detoxing right now, It's not much of a vacation. I'm just glad I don't have to deal with the stress of work while I'm doing this."

"I think everyone is proud of you for it, though."

"Yeah and they are trying to be helpful."

Trish nodded, and turned to watch the TV. "You know it wouldn't hurt if you needed extra help, and went to a rehab facility."

"I don't want that ending up in the tabloids. You of all people should understand what that could do to me."

Trish shook her head. "Don't worry about your career, for once take care of yourself."

"That's hard to do when you're in the public eye."

"I can try and keep it undercover, if you really feel you need it."

This time Austin shook his head. "I'll be fine, thanks though."

It's then that the apartment door swung open revealing a rather cheerful Dez. Ally was right behind him and both were carrying bags of groceries.

"Just got a phone call from the editor, they are doing their final review and will soon be done. Won't be long until the premier." Dez put down the bags on the kitchen counter, and then grabbed Austin up from the couch. "You'll be my date won't you?"

Austin smiled, and was about to confirm that he wouldn't miss it for the world when Trish interrupted.

"Date? What are you guys talking about?"

"Oh, Trish doesn't know." Ally slapped her hand over her forehead. "Austin and Dez are officially a couple, isn't it great?"

"No!" Trish shouted. "What do you mean a couple? Like in, gay couple? Do you know what that will do to your reputation?"

"What do you mean reputation; there is nothing wrong with being gay." Austin defended.

"I'm not saying there is, for an average person. Austin your whole fan base is teen girls and young adults that love you. They love the idea of a straight Austin Moon that they can fawn over and dream about meeting, and falling in love with you!"

"Trish it really isn't a big deal." Ally said quietly, not feeling very comfortable with the situation unfolding.

Trish took a deep breath and relaxed. "Ok, this is fine. I'm sorry Austin I don't mean to be insensitive, but you understand right? The girls love you, how do you think they would react to you being gay. Your whole fan base would disappear."

"You don't know that!" Austin said outraged. "What you expect me to keep Dez a secret?"

"Austin please think rationally, at least for now keep it quiet. It's not good for publicity."

"I can't believe this Trish. You are assuming that my whole fan base is homophobic! And I highly doubt that."

"But you will lose some fans, and you know that the celebrity news media will make a big deal out of this!"

Austin glared at Trish for a long time, before Dez touched his shoulder. "This is what I was worried about Austin, are you sure you are ready for this."

"Yes, I don't want to hide. I'm sorry Trish, but I really don't care what happens. I'm trying to make my life better, and I think Dez is part of my recovery."

Trish let out a sigh. "Ok, but at least try to keep it under wraps until Dez's movie premiere. I'll try and prepare for the amount of interviews and public backlash that will come. I'll see you tomorrow, and I'm happy you and Dez found each other, by the way." With that Trish took her leave.

"I didn't think she would react like that." Ally muttered.

"I understand were she's coming from, but we'll be fine. Right, Austin?" Dez asked cheerfully and gave Austin a kiss on the cheek.

"Yeah we'll be fine." Austin felt exhausted and he could really use a drink right about now, but he'd have to fight the urge. He needed to recover. It's one thing if the word gets out that he's gay, and a completely different thing if the media finds out he's an alcoholic too.

.

.

* * *

Austin sat on his bed feeling rather alone. Dez was checking his e-mails, but he said he'd come to bed soon. Austin was a little nervous. He wanted to live free, but it was still scary to think what could happen to his sales and career once the word got out that he was guy. Trish had scared him and for the first time Austin didn't have alcohol as a crutch to lean on.

He thought of the successful gay celebrities he knew, and there were quite a few, but his circumstances seemed so different from theirs. He wouldn't know how things would turn out until him and Dez went public.

The door to Austin's bedroom opened and Dez stepped in with his usual smile. "I thought you'd already be in your night clothes. Why are you sitting in the dark?" Dez turned on the light, and Austin squinted his eyes.

"I'm just thinking about how I could really use a drink." Austin was surprised when cold water was squirted in his face. He sputtered and wiped water off his face. "I'm not going to drink, jeeze."

"You're doing really good I don't want you to slip." Dez set the water bottle on the night stand and sat next to Austin. "It'll be alright, don't worry too much."

"I don't know Dez, Trish kind of scared me. She had a lot of good points."

"We'll do this together, I'll support you, Ally and Trish will too. Trish is just worried but she'll do her job and manage the backlash. Everything will be fine. In the mean time we can focus on each other and not worry about being outed until my movie premiere."

"When will it come out?"

"It'll still be a couple of months, so don't worry. I'll be here with you the whole time, so we can enjoy each other's company before shit hit's the fan." Dez seemed calmed and collected and it calmed Austin as much as a glass of wine would.

Dez leaned in to kiss Austin on the lips, and Austin gave in easily. Austin closed his eyes and relaxed, letting all the worry of the day wash away.

.

.

* * *

Austin was playing the piano softly, trying to lose himself in the tender melody. Dez was taking a phone call in the office, and since Dez was his alcohol substitute, Austin felt nervous without the redhead next to him. He won't touch a glass of wine, but he really wanted to. He was supposed to be on vacation, but this was the most stressful vacation he'd ever had.

Ally sat next to Austin on the bench and started to play the high keys along with Austin's low keys. The man smiled and looked at his best friend.

"How are you holding up, I still have brochures for rehab, if you're interested."

"I'm fine. I think I'm doing pretty good. I don't want any more publicity than needed. I'll do my rehab here."

"I'm proud of you, I think things are really turning around." Ally says with a big smile on her face. The two took their hands away from the piano, and looked at each other.

"I'm really glad you're my friend Ally."

"Sure thing buddy!" Ally hugs the blond who laughs at her response.

"So when are you and Dez going to have a real date?"

"I don't know, when my urge for drinking dies down enough that I won't order a glass of wine. Besides Trish want' us to keep it low key for now."

"That doesn't mean you can't go out. As far as the public know it's just two friends having a good time. As long as you don't hold hand and kiss no one will be the wiser."

Austin nodded with excitement, "I guess that's true. I'll look around see if there is something to do. Maybe dinner a movie. I wonder what I'll wear."

"You should be thinking about going out, you guys should get in as much private time before the movie premiere. If you have a solid relationship before you get exposed, nothing will tear you guys apart."


End file.
